Friday Funnies

Hi,
Here we are, with one week left (plus one day) and much to do. In addition to all the lunches and dinners, there's the shopping for things not of LOS, and resolution of technical 'issues'.
Now, it's about the song that nobody knew. "Tired Of Waiting" by The Kinks should have been on your mind. Ugh.
"When the sun shines they slip into the shade And sip their lemonade. When the sun shines, when the sun shines.
__, I don't mind." Hint: Anther group from across the pond, four fab fellows with umbrellas.
The Boys are both in the apartment right now, discussing our mounds of vitamins, our breakfast plans and how long we have left. C-Bass tried to make eggs this morning and it didn't work so well. Only problem is, he left his mess and had to be reminded that he has to clean it up. (13, remember?) August had to go see (little brother) and came back and gave us a full, graphic report of every detail. Wish I had a camcorder.
As of now, the 'storm of the century' hasn't hit yet, but our Mega Doppler Stereo HD HiFi Wear-U-Out weather show that it's moving our way in a very threatening manner. Be aware, be prepared and please, be scared. That's all we're going to say about it. We have yet to experience the 'rainy season' at it's peak in LOS. Just think, possible monsoons, every year. Hmm, I wonder how that would work here? My guess, not so good.
So, it's time for the 'Funnies'. Reads a lot like what we see overseas. I need more 'G' rated material. I know you've got some jokes somewhere in you inbox that you haven't deleted. Dig deep and send me something. Hey, it will be an excuse to write.
Have a Wet and Wonderful WeekEnd.

Peace,
Danny

We do not advise following any of the below driving rules to any extent. Driving should be taken seriously at all times. The below jokes are simply here for entertainment purposes.

When using a metered entrance ramp, vehicles in the carpool lane do not need to stop. Similarly, vehicles NOT in the diamond lane also do not need to stop.

If, at any time, you have witnessed a green light, it is okay to proceed through the intersection, regardless of the current color of the light.

The shoulder becomes a lane if you are driving a Porsche.

If you paid more than $60,000 for your car, you automatically have the right of way, regardless of the situation. This is especially applicable in parking lots.

Drive as quickly as possible through parking structures. Pass any open spot by at least four car lengths before backing up to claim it. Disregard the angry mob that has formed behind you.

Get to know your horn. Use it as often as possible.

While driving on the freeway and talking on your cell phone, alternate between 45 and 100 MPH. This is especially effective if driving in the fast lane.

Every lane is the suicide lane.

Always set the alarm to its most sensitive setting before leaving your car in a parking ramp.

During rush hour, drivers should pass the time by reading Deepak Chopra or L. Ron Hubbard, and practice inner peace when cut off by a Mercedes.

If you miss your exit, no worries. Just cut across six lanes of traffic and drive over the divider. If you really weren't supposed to cross it, they would make it out of concrete instead of icicle plants.


Gettin' Funky, Thai Style

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